Sacred Silence
By Robert Gerzon
Have you ever asked God (your Higher Power or Sacred Self) for help with a problem and found the response to be an empty silence? That has happened to me many times in the past, causing disappointment and deep distress.
Where was God when I needed him/her? I was hoping for some comforting words that would soothe my anxiety, some wise advice that would point me in the right direction. Mostly I was hoping for some indication that there was a God who cared.
Instead of a reassuring voice I got silence. Instead of a divine presence I got a disturbing absence. I'd humbled myself and called God on the phone and it just kept ringing and ringing in the vastness emptiness of space.
Of course this would just make me more anxious. The empty silence became more troubling than my original problem. I had hoped for an answer, hoped to hear God's voice. There was a part of me, conditioned by Biblical stories and Hollywood movies, that expected to hear God's thunderous voice booming down from the heavens (and sounding a lot like Charlton Heston).
I wanted to believe in God, wanted to believe that when I knocked, the door would be opened. But when I knocked the door remained closed. At those dark times, I felt either that God did not exist or that if he did exist he must have decided I wasn't worth bothering with.
Gradually I was able to admit to myself that I was only calling God, seriously calling God, in times of trouble. I needed to develop an on-going relationship with God through both good times and bad and not just use God as a divine 911.
As I understood more about my mind and how the Toxic, Natural and Sacred Voices operated in my life, I realized that my Toxic Voice was the loudest. It was a big-mouth know-it-all, always ready to weigh in with its opinions (and most of the time it didn't even wait to be asked!). Come to think of it, it's my Toxic Voice that often sounds a lot like Charlton Heston!
My Natural Voice speaks clearly and firmly with a quiet confidence. But in order to hear it, I first have to make a decision to stop listening to the Toxic Voice. Then my Natural Voice can give me a realistic picture of what's going on and analyze my options.
The Sacred Voice is a "still small voice" that needs even quieter surroundings and deeper attention in order to be heard. As I spent more time cultivating my relationship with God, communing with the Sacred, I began to understand that the Sacred Voice often "speaks" without words -- through silence, a golden silence filled with Love. This is the sacred silence of a great cathedral or a starry desert night, rich in mystery and meaning.
Previously this same silence had seemed terrifyingly empty because my Toxic Voice (which religions have traditionally personified as the Devil) wanted me to believe that silence was evidence of God's absence. "See, nothing but silence," it would say to me, "There's obviously no God here who wants to talk to you, so you might as well listen to me. At least I'm willing to talk with you!"
Now I'm often able to sit serenely with the silence and sense a Sacred Presence. Through a wordless telepathy this Presence invites me, "Just sit with me. Be here with me. Breathe. Enjoy this precious moment with me."
When I abide awhile in her Presence, she blesses me. Afterward my body feels revitalized and my soul refreshed. Sometimes I simply return to my activities without knowing the answer to my question, trusting that I will know at the right time. At other times I emerge with a new perspective on my life, one that allows me to see just far enough ahead to take my next step with confidence even though I don't yet know where I am going.
I remember once more that life is not about "getting there" -- it's about enjoying the journey. I am reminded of Rainer Maria Rilke's advice to a young poet:
"Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions as if they were books written in a foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them, and the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday you will gradually, without ever noticing it, live your way into the answer...You must realize that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall."
Take some time today (perhaps right now for just one minute?) and sit with the Silence. Allow yourself to become aware of the Sacred Presence that comforts and guides without words.
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s highly acclaimed book Finding Serenity in the Age of Anxiety.
Find out more about Robert Gerzon’s Counseling and Coaching Services.
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